2009.. WHAT?!

Happy New Year, blog world.. It feels like yesterday that I was wholeheartedly convinced that 2000 would be the end of time, wiping me clear off the planet! 

I was 14 and dramatic, ok?

I always heard that however you ring in your new year or spend the first day of the new year will pattern how the rest of that year will turn out. If so, this is going to be the laziest year of my life!

I ate some yummy grits, watched the Rose Parade, sent a few emails, and didn't even dare take off my comfy pajamas until near 2 o clock. Tonight, mom and I watched 2 movies we rented from the movie vending machine (you have to check this out) for 1$ .. ONE WHOLE DOLLAR (apparently cheap is the theme of my year.. definitely satisfied with that). I mean, can we say FABULOUS? 

My 2009 is off to a great start and I pray that yours is the same. I was reading a friend of mine's blog and I scrolled down to find this story. It is amazingly powerful and mimic's a theme that the Lord has been burning into me since my first trip to Africa in 2007: "Believe the Lord for who He says He is". That is scribbled into every notepad and pinned on so many surfaces around me. Maybe you're already there, or maybe you've got no clue.. either way, this story serves as an incredible reminder of our great Savior and His relentless faithfulness . Read it here. (Thanks Kristin).

Also, if you're doing the One Year Study, or want to, the next two days look like this: 

Today's (JAN 1) Reading Schedule:

* Genesis 1 and 2, Psalm 1, AND Matthew 1 and 2

Tomorrow's (Jan 2) Reading Schedule:

* Genesis 3 and 4, Psalm 2, AND Matthew 3 and 4

how did you ring in the new year? 

I've got the desire..

.. for adventure.

maybe it's the new year and all the resolutions and forecasting we do.. , or maybe it's the extra cash flowing as a result of Christmas generosity... but I am YEARNING (dramatic? yes) to do something adventurous. Let me clarify, by adventurous I do not mean:

1) mountain biking 

2) bungee jumping

3) sky diving

4) going to a Monster Truck Show

5) ice picking 

My version of adventurous includes, but is not limited to:

1) moving to new york city 

2) quitting school (remember when we talked about this over Mellow Mushroom 2 years ago, rebekah?)

3) getting another tattoo

4) exploring Europe for 5-6 months

5) all of the above

It's funny.. because... i'm actually quite serious.

Do you ever sit back and wonder if you are doing what you were made for? I've been doing that for over a year (Danielle, you can pull up your facebook messages for a year+ as evidence of this, huh? and Holli? the porch talks?)...  A WHOLE YEAR. There are so many reasons.. but the main reason for this confusion is that I have an unreasonable and unhealthy need to live my life the way that the world thinks I should (or the way I think the world thinks I should live). I'm not placing blame.. I'm just honestly afraid of messing up. 

The new year is sure to bring about more honest and transparent blogs.. and maybe you'll be able to see why I question the current state of my life. But I really feel the need to stretch my legs and walk boldly into something totally uncomfortable. To do something completely irrational, unreasonable, and seemingly ridiculous.. yet totally necessary and liberating.

Lord, you have complete authority on every move I make. I'm begging- give me vision.. BE my vision.

Advent Conspiracy

Ok, so this is WAY OUT OF MY MORAL CODE, but today's post centers around Christmas (YIKES! It's not even November yet. I mean I'm one of the crazies who doesn't believe in Christmas music until the day after Thanksgiving. i mean seriously.. let's give thanksgiving a chance people..) But today, Im breaking my mold to share something really cool. Check this out:


The story of Christ's birth is a subversive story of an upside-down kingdom. It's a story of promise, hope, and a revolutionary love that is still changing the world to this day. So, what happened? What was once a time to celebrate the birth of a savior has somehow turned into a season of stress, traffic jams, and shopping lists. And when it's all over, many of us are left with presents to return, looming debt that will take months to pay off, and this empty feeling that we somehow missed its purpose.

Is this what we really want out of Christmas?

What if Christmas became a world-changing event again by turning our focus back to the birth of Christ? What could happen to your family if this focus was celebrated in loud, bold and totally unexpected ways? What if you could actually trade your season of stress for a season celebration and unbelievable memories with your friends and family? What if all of this could save a life at the same time? It can.

Welcome to Advent Conspiracy






adventconspiracy.org


if you're like me, this is sewn with the greatest intentions, yet is incredibly hard to be humbled to action. If you're at a loss of where to start "conspiring".. let me help you! Visit here.
It seems like a shameless plug, but I'm telling you, these causes are WORTH IT. Sure, blessing them with these financial needs would be nice, but truth is: it'd be just as meaningful if you wrote them a letter and tell them you're on their side. If you're interested in sharing the Christmas blessing with someone other than yourself, this is a great place to begin living "life- openhanded".

MERRY MERRY!

Lee

READ IT!

One of my sweetest friends, Elizabeth (above), is currently on an 11 month trip around the world, sharing the message of Jesus. It's already been an incredible journey for her and her team. Her teammate,Maris, just wrote this and i URGE YOU to read it.

This is what it's all about. Pray for Team Judah today.

also, on a much more insignificant note: thanks for reading my last post and emailing all the mac help (especially you, meesh!). Where have I been without video chat and garage band and the two-finger scroll? 

Lee

Vision

After I huffed and puffed at another Auburn loss (I mean, seriously?), I crawled in bed and started my nightly blog reading. After my first click I found "the one". You know "the one".. "the one" blog that makes you stop and go: "What the?? Have you been reading my journal?!"
I have seriously considered asking him that. I think we're soul mates (ok.. maybe thats pushing it?) Anyways.. my point is: I guess he just has a way of articulating what we're all trying to say.
I love this guy. His heart beats wildly for the things of God. He just gets it.
His words tonight aren't foreign concepts to me.. and I guess he's not really bringing anything new to my table.. but during this dry season of life, the weight of his words bring encouragement and life, and great depth to my shallow attempts of processing the Gospel.

By: Jamie T. (from 'To Write Love on Her Arms').

Vision.

Just wrote this, for the VISION section of the new twloha.com. Wanted to share it here as well:

The vision is that we actually believe these things…

You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.

We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.

We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real.

You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.

Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.

The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.

The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles.

The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.

The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.

The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. The vision is graduation, a sunrise, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.

The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.

The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.

The vision is hope, and hope is real.

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.

so refreshing. so real.

(the comment section after this blog is unreal. Their 'vision' is changing the lives of thousands of hurting people)

Lord, Help us. We beg to see life through these compassionate, real, humble lenses. We need Your eyes for this vision. Thank you for loving us more than we'll ever ever know.

for more information on To Write Love on Her Arms visit twloha.com or http://www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms

Answered Prayers and a Yard Sale

Hopefully, most of you read this post back in August. I know some of you did, because we have felt your support tangibly. If you didn't, take a second to read it and catch up to speed! (ps: if you don't read it, you won't understand the rest of today's post.. so hurry.. go READ!)

FIRST things First: I have some REALLY exciting news!! (drumroll please...) Sachile is going back to school! The Louisa Pickard Circle (a group of United Methodist Women) donated the money needed for two years of schooling! PRAISE OUR LORD. He is SO faithful. I'm waiting on my Swaziland contact to get back to me so I can "officially" place the money in their account and when that happens, you'll be the first to know. I'm really at a loss for words, this is such a beautiful thing to see unfold.



So..
As most of you know I'm not real sure what the heck I'm doing in regard to raising the support for those 4 things the Lord showed me in Africa. Let's be honest, I don't have very much to offer financially.. but what I do have.. is JUNK. Lots and LOTS and LOTS of JUNK. So I brushed off my trusty ole' fundraising skills (its been a while since youth group..) and i'm putting that JUNK to good use! We're having a yard sale! It is the first big "event" to raise money for the needs mentioned in my life-openhanded post. The profit will go specifically to meeting the need of Ncobile (right) and her desire to go to University.

We'll be out on Main Street all day tomorrow ready to bargain :)

If you are in our area, please come out.. you don't have to buy anything, but I'd love to get to know you, fill you in onthe mission, and put you on our prayer list! If you need directions, email me at lowrylg@gmail.com.

If you are NOT in our area, we would LOVE your prayers. We (I) don't really know what we're (I'm) doing, but I know that the Lord wants to bless Ncobile with an education. I believe in her, and I believe in this. PLEASE PRAY for no rain, rich shoppers, and many opportunities to share her story.


My hopes are that during the next week I can set up a paypal account so that all of you out-of-towners can donate directly online. Be on the lookout.

Gotta go to bed.. i hear yard sale shoppers are early birds.. like 5AM early. WHAT THE??

oh fall.

"For you shall go out in joy, and be led back in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall burst into song, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."
Isaiah 55:12

Give me a hammock, a journal, and some soft acoustic music. PERFECTION.

This weather makes me ask questions like: How can people not believe? How can we not fall in love with Him over and over again every time we see changing leaves and feel that sweet breeze?


You are a BEAUTIFUL God.

Love like you've been forgiven.

* ok, so i feel like i need to preface this post by saying im not trying to make a habit out of super spiritual (whatever that even means) blogging. if you're wondering where sassy, opinionated lee has gone.. she's still here. next tiem i'll try to blog about somethign more entertaining like my celebrity crush or my favorite new recipe or the elections (probably not the last one). but for now..


you know when you tell someone "i'll call you later" or "i'll email you!" or "i promise, I WILL text you that info as soon as..."

well.. im super good at those phrases. I use them ALL THE TIME. however, im super BAD at fulfilling them. They are so easy to just throw out there with no meaning or truth to them at all.

I've been promising by the moon and stars that I'd contact this friend of mine, and I could never seem to follow through on my word. We needed to discuss some things of pretty grand significance, yet I could never just commit myself to sitting down and putting my fingers on the keys (i mean, i didn't even have to really 'talk' to him.. all I had to do was take the easy road of communication and type him this stuff..) . I'd send little texts to him like "im sorry, i promise im going to write you as soon as I get home today" or "are you even still my friend? i know i told you 86 times i'd write you and I haven't.. but i PROMISE I'm not going to bed tonight until its done". I actually took time out of my day to apologize for not doing it, instead of using that time to write the freakin' email.

I'm LAME.

So after yet another apology message, I get this reply from him..

"dear friend, quit apologizing. quit thinking that i'm mad at you, and quit asking me if we're still friends.

it's your pride thinking for you if you think our friendship or my love for you are based on what you DO.

and PLEASE don't get caught in the cycle of thinking that you're somehow less worthy of being friends with someone because you haven't been acting like their friend. the less worthy you think you are, the less likely you are to act like a friend, and the cycle goes deeper and deeper.

so REST your heart. calm your anxieties, and remember that your debts have already been paid. you are forgiven and, more than that, you are counted as PERFECT because of Christ in you.



Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
My soul continually remembers it
and it bowed down within me.

But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning.

(Lamentations 3:19-23a)"

DANG. I just got knocked right on my butt.

He told me, huh? Talk about sticking it straight...



I'm so thankful for friends that love me despite my failures and shortcomings and lack of repsonsibility to do as I say. I count myself blessed knowing that they see me through a cross that wipes all of my messes clean. I'm so grateful that they are slow to judge me but are quick to show me grace.. And you know what I've come to realize? You know the ONLY reason they even have the slightest interest in being friends with a sometimes-crappy friend like me? Because they are all to familiar with messing up and falling full of blame at the feet of a forgiving God. They have been forgiven, freeing them to forgive. My friend and I's story is the practical application of Luke 7:47. She that "had been forgiven of much, loved much... but those who have not been forgiven, love little". My friends were able to love me, because they have felt and experienced the love of a Father, who found them, and undeservingly made beauty out of all their crap.

Luke 6:37. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

I want to forgive like I've been forgiven. I want that love that comes only through being set free from guilt.


To have people in your life who just get truth is an unbelievable, humbling, thing and it is unreal to me that the Lord sees me worthy to call these people my friends.

Your mercies are new every morning. Praise You for that, sweet Lord.

The More I Seek You

I've found lately that the songs that move me to the heart of God aren't always necessarily sung in church. There have been times recently that the Holy Spirit speaks to me through Coldplay or JJ Heller or John Mayer. There are days when I'm driving through town and I feel His presence in the voice of James Taylor or Stevie Nicks. Nothing like cruising through town with a hand raised in praise as Gladys Knight blares out "Midnight Train".

What is a "worship" song anyways? Isn't it a heart cry.. a response to the greatness of our Maker and His creation? Whether thats people, places, things..?

Sure, Gladys isn't singing Hallelujah, but somethign about that song brings up raw, real emotions for me and reminds me to surrender all of me to the Lord. There is something about James Taylor that makes all of creation come alive to me. That's worship, right? I guess there are no rules that say "It is only a worship song if it is sung by Tomlin, Crowder, or Hillsong". Truth is, it's not as if someone said that James Taylor can't move me... if anything, I'm the very one who puts them in categories and limits those songs to the boxes i have designated them for.


However, there is one of those " real worship" songs (again, whatever that is..)that consistently ushers me to the Throne. It is written and sung by Kari Jobe, a worship leader for the Dallas-based Christ For the Nations. I heard it for the first time last summer in Swaziland. I remember running into the hut right after we got home that day... and frantically scribbling the lines that had struck me and gripped me so tight. They are honest words, and I experience such joy in knowing that people all over the world have intimate encounters with the Lord like Kari expressed in this song:

The More I seek You
The More I find you
the more I find you
The more I love you

I want to sit at you feet
drink from the cup in your hands
lay back against you and breath
feel your heartbeat
this love is so deep
it's more than I can stand
I melt in your peace
it's overwhelming

What a sweet meeting with our Jesus. Resting in Him. Drinking from His cup... delighting in the very things that please Him! Refilling- Refuling- being refreshed by the life-giving nourishment we only find in Him. Feeling His heartbeat.. the one that rejoices in each of our salvations.. the one that beats frantically for the prostitutes and their victims... the heart that beats wildly for the orphans and the diseased. To rest with The One whose love is so deep you can't even express it- physically or emotionally. The kind of love that leaves you parlayzed with awe and reverence. The peace that comes in knowing that sitting in His arms or resting in His will is your one safe place, your one refuge from all the chaos in life. The place that offers you hope and life amidst that messy divorce or cancer diagnosis.
It's overwhelming, all right. To me, overwhelming is an understatement. Is there a more weighty word than overwhelmed? If so, I'd use it.

I dont know about you, but this girl captured the very essence of time spent with the Father. Let us seek Him and find Him.. let us then love Him with a deeper, more raging love.



a amazingly talented friend of mine, jerel (you'll see his back), and i actually kinda recorded this song in our prayer chapel last fall. it's no kari jobe, but maybe you get the idea. if not, download it.. its WORTH it (Kari Jobe "The More I Seek You" - CFN'S Glorious CD)

do any of you have songs that move you to Him? "Real" worship? Random?

Let it Pour

disclaimer: this is the most scattered blog ever. I'm not sure it has any real fluidity so if you're a reader who likes a post that flows, you may just want to catch my next post.. my bad.

i've started, stopped, and restarted this post for almost a week now. i've probably lost all 3 of you daily readers for lack of a post.. my apologies.

Actually, I take back that apology.. I've been trying this whole "living intentionally" thing lately, and its kept me from coming here to write random (sometimes meaningless) crap for people to read. In these past few months I've come to realize how often I speak just to speak. I'll admit, I'm totally that person... I LOVE to hear myself talk. I know, how prideful and embarassing. It's true, however.. and I'm not going to pretend. I started to see how much I came to value my OWN opinion and to believe that I have a right to express my thoughts at every opportunity. I guess I do have that right, but my points aren't always necessary and im not always right (there are too many "rights" in this sentence.. bare with me, its been a few blog-less weeks for me.. I gotta get back in the groove). What I mean is that while I CAN speak, it doesn't mean i SHOULD speak.
If you're like me, you have that person in your life that is usually quiet, who you always want to speak up. I used to think people like that were ridiculous.. I used to think they were rude because they never really said anything.. but then I started to pick up on the fact that when they said something, they meant it, it made sense, and it was worth something. I want to be a person is slow to speak and quick to listen. I take for granted just listening. Who cares what I think anyways? I want to live with intention... I want to speak when it matters, because the truth is, that is when my voice means something.

I'm doing a one-year study of the Bible with my friends Amber and Michelle, and while reading I just realize how much stuff I really DON'T know (but of course, I act as if I do).
It's honestly kind of embarassing to think of how many times I spouted off false information just to sound cool.

So, that's why I haven't been blogging.
Well, that and the fact that I just don't know what to say.

I don't really feel like myself.

It's been a WEIRD two weeks. Circumstances have changed (I left Auburn, moved home, started AUM), but actually, the WEIRDness of it has had to do with processing. In my last post, I mentioned I was "prepared for a seamless transition back to life here". In most areas, you could say that this statement is accurate. While I don't love AUM, it hasn't been difficult for me to be there. The hard part is that my mind is everywhere but on this planet. I feel like a looney toon, with my thoughts scattered near and far. I've been having out of the ordinary experiences, and life just seems like its moving in a new direction.

Ok, actually, I don't feel like myself at all.

Maybe if I give you a "for instance.." you'll get a more clear illustration of what I'm trying to explain..

For instance..
* I was in the car with my friend Mary on Saturday. We were driving home from a bridesmaid fitting for our best friend, Amy... What should have been a joy-filled, exciting day.. was one of the most gloomy ones I've had in a while. I cried the whole way home in the car. No real reason for the tears, they just kept coming. (I'm sure you can imagine Mary as she gave me the "what the heck is going on with this girl" look as she calmly loved me through it.) I couldn't get it together.

*I watched the Olympics (with all you other obsessed freaks) the night that Shawn Johnson competed in her last competition of the games. She ended up winning gold, and while she stood smiling on that podium with the national anthem blaring, I bawled like a baby. As in, I was weeping.

*When Hilary Cilinton gave her speech at the DNC last night, I cried again. My lips were quivering. I don't even like that lady.

*I haven't been excited about Auburn Football ONCE. I grew up going to games, most of my family went there, and I always get excited to be in Jordan-Hare. I'm not a freak about it, but I surely haven't had the slightest bit of excited readiness for it this time.

*I listen to John Mayer and he makes me want to worship the Lord. "In Your Atmosphere" comes on my ipod and I get chills and I feel the Holy Spirit moving me and teaching me. I'm telling you, things are weird.

*I don't call people back and I'm not real big on returning texts. (My mom is reading this and laughing out loud.. I was the child who ran up a 500$ phone bill on more than 3 occasions). But seriously, I LOVE talking to people, and lots of my close friends live no where close to me.. but in the last few weeks, we've had lots of trouble communicating... well.. because I simply refuse to pick up the dag-blasted phone.

*I went to Auburn for a night last week, and as soon as I got off the exit, I wanted to turn around and come right back home. I do not fit there anymore. I passed the turn to my old house and felt really lost as I kept driving. I hid while I was there, dodging phone calls to hang out. These friends there mean the world to me, but I was avoiding quality time. WHY?



Let me finish this all by saying:
a) I dont really cry. I used to A LOT. a lot, a lot. But since my parents divorce and other big changes, I'm not big on tears. I ask for them a lot, and in Africa I begged for it so that I could express my frustration and compassion. They didn't come. Now, they are coming like rain from Hurricane Fay.
b) I'm not a freak.. I promise.



I don't know what's going on.. there are so many more examples, but since my mind is everywhere but Planet Earth, I can't think of them.

I just feel a heavy weight lately. I feel lots of pain for people around me. I'm hurting for the poor. I'm broken for the mom of 2 of my preschoolers who just found out her 2nd husband is dying of cancer (the first one died of cancer too). I'm torn up when I think about a friend of our family who is trying desperately to heal from his father's mistake.

These are all valid 'hurts'.. but I'm trying to pair them up with all the good I see.My mind is clouded with the hard things, and I'm desperately searching for clear vision to see the good.

It's not as if I feel the Lord is distant or that I'm distant.. or whatever. Maybe there is just distance from me and the world. Maybe thats a good thing? Maybe thats a GREAT thing.
I just don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going and maybe this is all of what He's trying to show me. I need patience to wait out this season as the Lord both breaks me down and builds me up. I just need energy and wisdom for the journey. And of course I need friends and community too, so I promise I'm going to answer my phone soon.

Please Lord, come and make this scattered brain a resting place for peace. Make my mind a sanctuary for you. Use this brokenness for restoration. Take the hard things and allow them to stir up a passion for change. Let the good things encourage me to keep going. May I be COMPLETE in your joy. Give me the strength to answer the phone, even when I don't want to hear anything about my friends drama. Give other people the strength to deal with my crap, too. You are good. You are good. Your love endures FOREVER. I choose you over emotion. I choose you in the sunshine and in the rainiest of days (which by the way reminds me.. thanks for the rain). Help me through this WEIRD, sometimes rainy life. It's good to feel less like myself if it means I'm becoming more like you.

Lord, let me dance in this rainy season. Let me see that you will fulfill your promise of a returning sun. To see a rainbow, I have to sit through the downpour. Let me remember you are constant in both the blue skies, and the grey.
And Father, if the rain is the very thing you are using to bring that 'clear vision' I keep asking for, then LET IT POUR.

I hope you will still read my blog after this nonsense. I'm feeling emo today.. I'm assuming its just the weather (even though my brother swears im "emo-tastic" and have been since 5th grade, when I started listening to slow music and writing poems about running away).

By the way, I realize this post is about as cliche and 1990's Christian worship song-ish as you can get.. but oh well. Whatever it takes to cleanse and refine, I'm in.

Thanks for walking with me in this weird season. Those of you that I have spent time with (i.e: the ones I haven't avoided or acted like a brat to), your encouragement and life has given me strength. Those of you who tell me how much you've loved and learned from this blog, I'm really thankful. You don't even know.

Hope you still like me.
Lee

::LIFE OPENHANDED::

“..when we are whole, we are nurtured by what has been invested in us, and at the same time freely give of ourselves to others”

Erwin McManus (Uprising: Revolution of the Soul)

When I look back at what I have seen the Lord do here, and when I reevaluate the reasons I think the Lord has had me be on this trip, I know it was to grow me as someone who lives out of a generous spirit. I haven’t always been a faithful steward with the resources the Lord has given me, especially with finances. As many of us know, when you come face-to-face with needs, not wants, you begin to realize that there is greater purpose for your things and money besides that which fades away. I want to live from a place that sees the bigger picture and doesn’t fall prey to the petty things of this world. I desperately want an IPhone and I want a new car, but being in a place like this, I see other people who NEED shelter, who NEED an education, who NEED food and clothes. Again, needs versus wants… BIG difference. IPhones and cars aren’t bad at all.. I’m not out for judgement or to promote the unbalanced “new monasticism” that many are following, but at this point in my life they aren’t needs for me. As you’ve noticed in previous posts, The Lord has opened my eyes to so much other than myself. It’s been rooted in me since my first summer in Brazil and its now bearing fruit in this season of my life.

I’m beginning to see needs that could easily be met if we did church like Acts,

“They devoted themselves to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he needed. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” (Acts Chapter 2 Verse 42)

Further in Acts, Luke says,

“All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had… There were no needy persons among him” (Ch. 4 verse 32)

(sidenote: I’m sitting here with one of my roommates and I mention I’m writing on this verse and she quickly blurts “good Lord! If we could only get ONE of those things.. forget selling our possessions, lets just actually be able to get together and have glad and sincere hearts!” she’s right. Lord, give us strength to accomplish even part of this.)

I’m not telling you to sell your house, although that’d be really cool. I’m just suggesting that we begin living selfless, open-handed lives that are open to sacrifice as the Spirit leads. I mean seriously, what would it look like if there were "no needy persons among us? WHOA. The truth is: none of our money.. our clothes, our cars, our food.. none of that even belongs to us. It’s all God’s, it’s just on lend to us.. he trusts us to make good decisions and be faithful with what he has given us.

I’ve got some ideas on how we can start. It’s a rough draft.. I certainly have no seminary/charity/administrative training and I could be going about this all the wrong way.. but I’m just going to be bold and go where the Lord tells me. Hopefully I’m walking with this in the right direction! (if you do have training or experience, I would LOVE your help.. seriously).

Since I’ve been here in Africa, there have been many people who have come to me and privately asked for help. For others of them, their needs are just obvious. These needs range from school fees, to water pipes for their homes. While I would have loved to have given to these people right when they asked, it wasn’t financially possible. I’ve wrestled with taking it on personally and have thought of every option to get them everything they desire, but I simply can’t do it alone. Many of you have emailed me and asked how you could be a part of ministries here. I know your faithful giving first-hand and would love for you to jump in with me as we live out those verses above for my friends here. So, take a look at these needs below.. search your heart and see if the Lord is calling you to be a part of any of these. If He is, I promise you won’t regret it. If not, your prayers are just as treasured (if not more) than your pocketbook.

Opportunities to Give:

** Tapiwa and Itai: Living Expenses **
Tapiwa and Itai are the brother/sister refugee pair from Zimbabwe. I’ve written about them a lot here and they are such special friends to me. If you’re into international news at all, you’ve seen the crisis that currently exists in Zimbabwe. If not, click here. They are under the rule of a very corrupt government, with their president using his power to cause major struggles and discord. Tapiwa and Itai were campaigning for the opposition party when things in their village became the scene for much of what you’re seeing on tv, home invasions and cruel murder of anyone who opposes the corrupt system of government. Tapiwa and Itai were doing just that.. campaigning for justice and peace. They left home to protect their families safety, and moved in with their sister in a nearby city. As the situation worsened, they eventually fled to Johannesburg where they waited and lived for 4 weeks in the bus station. Itai remembered that during a sermon at her church one day, an evangelist from Joburg had given out her phone number. She realized she had scribbled it down in the back of her bible, got it out, and made a call with a blind hope that this evangelist would answer. She did, and that lady is my friend Wapi (pictured and blogged about here). Wapi brought them here to Pretoria and they are living with us while establishing residency and refugee status here in South Africa. Again, if you keep up with the news, that’s no easy task. South Africa is unfortunately in crisis over their own xenophobia, which is the fear of foreigners. They are also out for any people coming from other countries within Africa. It’s been a nasty situation.. Tapiwa was stopped and sought out at a road block but escaped unharmed. This whole thing is a God story, my friends. Amidst it all they have kept such strength and joy.. its remarkable and very unreal to me. They know and love the Lord and it has been a blessing to watch. However, they have many needs. Right now, they have no money. We have purchased them a cell phone and a calling card so that they could call their mom and let them know (after 7 ½ weeks.. eeek.. try that on for size, mom!) that they are ok and in safe hands. Other than those possessions and some 5th hand missionary clothing, they have nothing.. and I mean nothing. They need shampoo, soap, lotion, hairbrushes, blankets, medicine, essentials for daily living, etc. Alabanza has taken them on staff, which means they eat, bathe, and sleep for free because they do work on the property. However, you don’t earn any money you just live on what they have here. They need money and desire to have jobs that bring them some financial gain. They can’t get into town because they need 12Rand a day to get a roundtrip ticket into town. Their needs may seem small to you, but they are big to them. They believe that God will provide.. if their story has moved you to give, please pray and contact me at lowrylg@gmail.com. As soon as I get your email we will go from there.

** Gugu’s school: Expansion Costs **
In my post-swazi post, you met GuGu, the lady who started the River of Life Christian school in the squatter camp. She is an amazing woman who has sacrificed her life to educate the poorest of the poor. She herself has no money and has a stipend that she sometimes gets. She has no car, she walks or comes by bus to her school everyday. When I think of her, the word fighter comes to mind. She fights for her children and has made them her priority. It’s obvious too, these children feel treasured and accepted in her presence (something they don’t feel anywhere else). We were sitting with her one day last week and we just started asking her about her dreams. We asked her “if you could do anything, be anywhere, what would you do and where would you go?” She said confidently “I’m right where I’m supposed to be”. Of course she said that! I’m sure you can picture us as we kept saying, “but really…” .. but she maintained her answer. She wouldn’t choose any other way of life. Thanks to a church sponsor the kids were able to get uniforms this year. The next movement for the school is to expand. The picture to the left is the school where they currently hold class. It works, but the holes and open air often make it difficult for learning. Her vision is to open a boarding school and take these children out of the squatter camp. She desires to teach them life skills and responsibilities to prepare them for the real world. THIS IS HUGE. No one I have met in Swazi cares enough or is willing enough to invest in children like this. These kids are the future of this dying nation, and they could be the very thing that turns it all around. She caught vision of this boarding school from The Lord nearly a year ago, but has no incoming support to even start the process. She already has the land where it can be built, she just needs to cover construction costs as well as the furnishings… daily expenses like eating and water will factor in as time goes on. Right now, she said she could build the 4-room building for 10,000 Rand. That is $1298.70 in America. It’s so do-able. If the River of Life story has moved you to give, please pray and contact me at lowrylg@gmail.com. As soon as I get your email we will go from there.

**Sachile: School Fees**
Sachile is the cutest little guy around. He was the 13th member of our team last year, doing most things as we did. He lived directly behind our homestead and some mornings we would find him dirty as if he had slept outside. We had no confirmation if he had in fact been kicked out of his house, but we know that the situation in his home was not good. The only family we knew he had was his grandfather, and what we heard about him wasn’t a healthy environment for a 7 year old. He is a special little guy who needs direction and guidance as he grows. Being parentless with no discipline or boundaries leaves a lot of room for pushing the limits. One of the AIM staffers told me that he needs the rest of his school fees to finish the year. He is attending now, but he has to stop if no one picks up this need. I know that there are different organizations involved in school placements in this area of Swaziland, but I’m not sure if he will continue to fall under their work or not. Just in case, I have placed his need here and if you’d like to keep him in school, please pray and contact me at lowrylg@gmail.com. As soon as I get your email we will go from there.


**Ncobile- University School Sponsorship**
Also in my “Releasing Expectations” post, I introduced you to my friend Ncobile. I don’t know how to describe her adequately, she is truly one of those people that you can’t find words to describe.. ask anyone who has met her. It is a blessing to call her friend, she is so much more to me than someone I know in Swaziland. She has been a faithful sister to me this year and I feel it a blessing to share life with her. She is so wise and desires NOTHING more than to be with the Lord. AIM (adventures in missions) has taken her on staff and she is currently in their discipleship program. She spends her days between driving around American teams in the big AIM van and discipling the youth in villages around Swazi. At one point last year, we were really seeking the Lord on having her come to America for a while.. and after much prayer we knew it wasn’t right. Ncobile wrote me one day, “theres just too much for me to do here.. it’s not time”. She isn’t running from the hardships that are pressing on her and her people, she is pressing into the hardships with strength from the Lord. I’m telling you, this girl is unreal.
Just before leaving Swazi last week, she opened her heart and became vulnerable about what she really felt the Lord was calling her to do. The Lord has been telling Ncobile that she was to go to school (university) to pursue her dream of Child Psychology. She said the Lord told her he would provide the finances, that she just needed to trust him. Then during our conversation, she broke down, saying that missionary after missionary had promised to send her the money, and hadn’t followed through. She was faithful in having the humility to ask, but they never came through with their end of the deal. After 2 years of waiting, she knows this is still the Lord’s will for her life and she’s waiting to see it come to life. Let’s come around her and support her dream of counseling the broken children of Swaziland.. that’s no small calling. If you feel led to give, please pray and contact me at lowrylg@gmail.com. As soon as I get your email we will go from there.

I'm praying that as The Lord leads, you and I will take an active role in meeting the needs of our brothers and sisters.

Some ‘giving’ verses to pray on:
“But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” 1 John 3:17

“He has told you O man what is good and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God..” Micah 6:8

As Paul is speaking on the cheerful giver he says, “.. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!” 2 Corinthians 9:12-15

“Defend the cause of the weak and the fatherless, maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy: deliver them from the hands of the wicked” Psalm 82:3

Let me end by saying that I don’t want to be the one who comes to westernize this world and make it something that its not. This is NOT about handouts.. these people have meant so much to me and the Lord has made known to me their hearts. Know that these needs are not selfish, but are crucial to their lives and to the advancement of the Kingdom. Of course, these are not the only ones in need.. just the ones the Lord has shared with me.

Let’s pray about blessing them together.

-Lee

READ IT!

first-- thanks so much for all of the encouragement after my blog yesterday.. the emails and comments have really shed light on things and I feel confident that The Lord is doing just as He wants. I know i say it every blog, but you guys are really incredible. I'm SO thankful for you.

second- I have lots of things to blog about, but I'm running out of time.. stay tuned because tomorrow I'm posting some things you will be interested in. Many of you have asked how you could be a part of ministries here... and tomorrow I'll give you a full list. You do NOT want to miss it. Also, I am still lacking about 200$ in support and need it to pay fo rmy last two weeks of housing here. Will you join me in praying for this? I have no doubt He will provide.. He always does.

third- you have to read this blog: http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ ... I am serious, it has had an enormous impact on my spiritual walk.. this lady gets it and she makes it easy for others to catch on. PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR.. AND READ IT. start at the beginning, but be sure to catch the latest post written on the 25th. You won't regret it.. tell me if you go, and what you think!!


love you guys and thank you again.. thank you thank you thank you!!

Lee

Releasing Expectations..

I have to admit.. figuring out what to say on this blog has not been easy today. I have a lot of things on my mind.. and none of them go together at all. Maybe I should make this a bullet point blog, to make it easier for you readers (are you even out there?... I think it’s just my mom..) Maybe I’ll just ramble.. See, I can’t even decide HOW to write this blog. Blogging shouldn’t be so difficult.

To start, I’m unfortunately back from Swaziland. Truth is, it was WAY too short. What a week it was.. this time last week I was laying under the Swaziland sun with snotty-nosed kids using me as a jungle gym. How incredible.


However, For those of you that I’ve talked to via phone or email know that I’ve had a really hard time with laying down my expectations for this trip. If you don’t correspond with me regularly you probably couldn’t tell.. I’m known for shutting down and putting the wall up, not letting people see what I really feel. I have enjoyed my stay in South Africa and its been just as special as you’ve read .. but its been coupled with a lot of doubting and confusion.



My plan for this trip back to Africa was: 3 weeks in Swazi, 2 weeks at an orphanage in Jo’Burg and 1 or 2 weeks here in Pretoria (Alabanza) for rest and hospital ministry. Well, it has looked more like: 5 1/2 weeks at Alabanza, 5 days in Swazi, and no orphanage.

THAT CHANGE OF PLANS HAS BEEN REALLY HARD FOR ME.

I feel like I’m pretty go-with-the-flow but man.. 5 days in SWAZI? Really? UGH!!!

Not feeling like I’m doing what I think I’m here for is no fun. I want so badly to be with the people that I fell in love with last summer. I want to go and buy a car and drive to the hospital to sit with my friend Treasure whose daughter is dying of something easily curable like Pneumonia. I want drive to Maria Kloppers orphanage and run into the green house and grab David and Sandile who gave me a penny as a goodbye present last year.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


But, look back at that last paragraph. I WANT.. I WANT.. I WANT. That was MY PLAN… (didn’t I blog about this the day before I left to come here.. hmm..)

Is that what You wanted, Lord? Didn’t you have me here for those people??.. I certainly thought so. Didn’t you want me to sit with GoGo and shuck corn from her field? Didn’t you want me to teach Sunday School to the kids at our carepoint? Didn’t you want me to go and cook for Auntie Esther so that she could have a break from her 12 children?
Again, I was certain of it.

You know, I think the real problem is not the wanting. It’s ok to want those things. After all, I’m supposed to desire and seek after heavenly things, right?! Sunday School Lesson #1. I wanted good things. Sitting with GoGo is not bad.. its good.. (real good..like out of this world good.. you have to get a GoGo before you die!)

I think the real problem is the “I” in all of those sentences. I want. I need. MY PLAN.

I HAVE GOT TO TRUST THAT THE LORD HAS ME HERE (WHEREVER “HERE” IS) FOR HIS PURPOSE AND FOR HIS GLORY. Not my own.


(OUCH to the ego. It is always uncomfortable to learn that truth… it really never gets easier does it?)

He wants me at Alabanza for a purpose. I wasn’t supposed to sit with GoGo for 6 weeks ( \that is still really hard to admit). I get so wrapped up in me and in my plans and my desires that I often miss the voice of the Father. He prepares ministry everywhere. EVERYWHERE. To take it even deeper, this is a truth that Lee Grayson Lowry HAS TO HEAR. Doing it my way, I am likely to jump into something head first into something appealing without thinking that it is not God’s best. I am the worst for getting into something that looks great, but isn’t the GREATEST.

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails -Proverbs 19:21

Oh my.

I’m a lost cause without Him.

Ahh.. its refreshing to be honest.

I am ok though (mom, don’t panic!)... This has been such a growing experience for me. I am not depressed or sitting in a room all alone. I just haven’t been that open to what the Spirit wanted to do in and through me.. here’s to a better effort, though!

Though short, I had an incredible 5 days in Swaziland. Outside of the short time frame, it was nearly perfect. There were only about 2 or 3 people that I didn’t get to see. I spent most of my afternoons with GoGo and we sang the one Swati song I know over and over.. and over again. How fabulous. We spent the mornings at a squatter camp where we had previously taught school and done some evangelism. Last year at this squatter camp we were faced with major heartbreak. Some of you have heard me talk about the treeline, but if not this the story.. There was a huge dump across the street and surrounding it was a line of trees. Parents sent children there to search for old food so that they could have meals for the day. Well, men would go first to search for food, and when they found something of worth, they would hide it with them under the line of trees. In order for the children to get their family’s meal for the day, the men would require them to perform sexual acts with them. Then, they would give them food and send them back to us across the street. It was horrifying. It was as if Satan was staring us straight in the face. The little kids that we would hold and snuggle with in the morning, would be the ones happily crossing the street for food. It was truly one of the hardest things I have ever had to watch, and its been something I couldn’t talk about for a while. Well, this year, we found a large concrete wall around the dump and most of the trees cut down. This doesn’t mean that the prostitution is over or that these nasty acts can’t still be performed.. but we prayed that God would protect these children and remove the treeline. We came back to see the huge wall and very little trees. I CAN PROMISE YOU THAT THIS WASN’T A DECISION BY THE SWAZILAND GOVERNMENT..THAT IS AN ANSWER TO PRAYER, my friends. That is the God we serve. He is protecting His children and we saw none of the prostitution with our own eyes this year. PRAISE HIM.


It was a special 5 days and I’m thankful that He even called me back at all.

Here are some pictures.. I hope you enjoy!

( I'm still working on how to explain it and how to adequately blog about how it felt to be back.. It was surreal. I figured until I could come up with a fluid set of words, I would throw up pictures from our journey. If you've kept up since last year, You'll recognize a lot of these faces. )



This is my GoGo. Even if you're new here, you probably have an idea of how much I love this lady. She made the biggest impact on my life last summer, and not a day goes by that I don't think about her. This is the moment I saw her.. tears came from everywhere!

These ladies are the 2 women who run the school in the squatter camp (a squatter camp is a place where people literally come and just throw things together to make a 'house' because they have no land elsewhere.. much crime exists here). Gugu, the lady on the right is one of my favorite people on earth, as she has dedicated her life to educating the children in this camp.













This little guy is Sachile, the boy who was our 13th team member last summer. He spent almost every day with us and made a special bond with many of my teammates. Its obvious he is a growing boy.. he doesn't have many teeth yet! What cutie!

This is Ncobile, and there are no words to describe her. You could start with beautiful, but that wouldn't be enough. Seriously.. she could model.. call an agency! She'll be in my wedding, so you'll meet her in America one day!











This is BUGGY!!!!!!!!!!! can you believe it? she's huge!! She grew so much (and lost so much hair) that I almost didn't recognize her. She is so much more fun now!









This was probably the biggest shock for me! This is my friend Meesha. I discipled her while in Swaziland last summer.. when she was PREGNANT! I was there for the birth of this little munchkin.. and I came back just 1 week after her 1st birthday! Baby Nosepo is BEAUTIFUL!

More pictures soon..
Thanks for walking this with me and letting me be honest. you guys are incredible! I love you!!
Lee

As if we have nothing..

I know I posted that we'd be headed to Swaziland today, but the team we are following there missed their flights from America, pushing them back to arrive today.. which pushes us back to leaving for Swazi to tomorrow... 4am tomorrow! YUCK!



But nonetheless, we are SWAZI-BOUND! I can hardly stand it.. I'm so ready!



I don't know what it was about Swazi that made my heart go nuts. Maybe it was the bloated-belly orphans that walked the streets in bare feet. Maybe it was the Go-Go's who juggled the pales of water on their head while carrying 30-pounds of infant on their back. Maybe it was the church services that made us feel like we just got done working out. Maybe it was the food.. wait, nevermind. Maybe it was the hospitals that seemed more like Mother Theresa's 'Home for the Dying' than a place of healing.. while all the while being the holding place for people with the greatest example of faith. Maybe it was the sunsets and how everyone of them seemed to out-do the last.



I dont know. Maybe it was all of those things. I think it was that I found the Lord in Swaziland. Outside of all the poverty, the killings, the stealing, the sexual and mental abuse.. I saw Jesus. He was there. I didn't take Him there.. He was already there.. He is there.



Amongst the broken and the poor is the greatest evidence of Jesus. Where the orphan sleeps, where the hungry eats, are the fingerprints of our God.

THERE IS HOPE IN THE HARD PLACES.



This must be why I fell in love and my heart has been groaning to get back.



You see at home, things are hard.. for sure. But honestly.. It's rare that I need to depend on the Lord. I know that I'll have a meal, a roof over my head. Even in my worst circumstances I am 'comfortable'. I don't find myself praying daily, hourly, by the minute, even, that the Lord will give me food and shelter. I don't have to believe that the Lord will protect me from death or rape because I'm not really afraid of that. I want to be dependent on the Lord like these people. I have to be. He commands that I be.



Lord help me.



This is cliche I know. Everyone who ever goes on a mission trip comes back with stories like this. If you are a part of a church, you hear this post outreach "change of perspective" testimony often. It's almost dull to us. But this is life and this is truth. WE MUST LEAN HARD INTO THE LORD AND TRUST HIM AS IF WE HAVE NOTHING.



Lord, come break the chains that hold everything distracting me from you. Make me like Job. Strip me of my security.. You are my safe place, my only safe place. You are the giver of every good thing and you promise that in surrender you bless... Release my of the need for things and show me daily that I don't deserve or need them to know you. Thank you for the things I take for granted but.. Lord, I want to want only you.





So I'm off to learn again what it means to believe God for who He says He is.. maybe it will stick this time.. :) More soon..


Lee






**side note: I've recieved a lot of emails asking about how you guys could support me in ministry. Because of the situation with the car (Theresa's car is not in working condition and after weeks of waiting we have decided to rent a car to get us to Swaziland), we've run into a lot of extra costs. We have the finances covered, but its hard to give to the people around us when our money is being sucked up by other things. We know we're supposed to be in Swazi so we are confident that the Lord will provide. So, if that was you who emailed me, I'm sorry I haven't replied but that is how you can help tangibly. Email me and let me know if you feel led to give in this way and I'll give you the information :). AND ... KNOW that we ALWAYS seek prayer support.. ALWAYS. Thanks for being so generous in giving to us. We are forever indebted to you!!

HE HEALS!

Hey Guys.. its Lee again finally :).

Thanks Mom for putting up that prayer request, you're the best!



As mom mentioned, Tapiwa (this is the correct spelling and its pronounced TAh-PEE-WAH), one of the Zimbabwean refugees has been very ill. He had been suffering from a toothache most of all last week, and we kept him medicated with ibuprofen, and even some of our pain pills from home. However, the pain escalated andby Thursday we realized we had a real issue on our hands. He didn't sleep any that night.. and they took him to a doctor on Friday, but as mom mentioned, no one would see him. They brought him home and he tried to rest. However, when Theresa went to check on him that night, she found him weak and very disoriented. If you know anything about bad teeth, you know that not having them treated is deadly. It was obvious that this was a serious issue. After much chaos, they got him to another hospital about 50 miles away. However, they would not see him because "it wasn't urgent" (translation: He is from Zimbabwe..). They then spent the night traveling to 4 other hospitals who denied him access. Those of us back at home were frantic and very worried. We were sure he wouldn't make it through the night.. His whole face was swollen and signs of infection were obvious. After 5 careless rejections (don't even get me started..), he finally came home, and we doped him up on some makeshift antibiotics and painkillers, and prayed that it wasn't too late.



He did sleep through most of the night, and Saturday was another day of getting rejected by clincs and hospitals. UGH!!! We really began to ask for divine healing, because at this point, we didn't think there was much more to do. He woke up Sunday with less pain and his roommates said he slept through most of the night.
Well.. as of today.. HE IS HEALED!!!!
His face is back to normal, no swelling and he is smiling, laughing, and eating again!
We are still going to attempt another doctor tomorrow to make sure he is ok.. but from what we can see, God completely restored him! PRAISE HIM!!

Isn't it amazing when you get to the end of your rope, when you run out of ideas, and you put your total dependence on the greatest Helper of all, that you see hope and change???

He is truly a Faithful God... the same One who moved in the days of Noah, Daniel, and Peter is alive and making the same miracles happen today! Now, THAT is amazing.

Praise God.
Thanks for your prayers.. they are being heard and being felt an ocean away!

prayers, prayers, WE NEED YOUR PRAYERS!

Hey team. Todays post is strictly asking for your prayers. I know, I know.. you guys are all but prayed up.. but ask The Lord for strength because there are SO MANY MORE! .. (and hello, don't forget that I'm waiting to hear how I can pray for you all too)

FIRST, HERE ARE SOME PRAISES:

*** Not even 5 minutes ago I recieved an email from a friend saying that she wanted to purchase the 4 remaining Passion tickets!! (if you dont know what I'm talking about click here: http://leegrayson.blogspot.com/2008/07/its-lee-again.html )
ALL 7 OF THEM ARE GOING!!!!!! Thank you guys for giving and praying. Isn't he a FAITHFUL FATHER?!

*** Taelo has new shoes! Someone has purchased them and he will be so humbled!!! PRAISE THE LORD! (http://leegrayson.blogspot.com/2008/07/its-lee-again.html )

*** THree of the patients we have been working with/praying for in the hospitals have been RELEASED! See, He still HEALS!


*** Remember me asking you guys to pray for rest the staff where I am living??? Well THE DAY AFTER I POSTED THAT, their "boss" came in and said they must each take a day of the week off. This is the first time they have ever had anything like that. They are already so full of life again! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

If you thought/think blogs are silly.. just look at how God is using this. these are no small things, I hope we'll take time to really thank God for all He is doing..


NOW, WILL YOU JOIN ME IN PRAYING FOR THE FOLLOWING??

*** Last night, Alabanza was robbed. To you and I, this is horribly scary.. to my friends here, this is the norm. Normal or not, it was still an unfortunate event. They actually robbed the house I am staying in (dont worry mom.. keep reading). They didn't enter the house (it is rare that they EVER enter the house, they only want possessions), yet they robbed our clothesline. They stole all of the drying clothes which belonged to Luiza (the South African we live with), baby Vaeli, baby Joy, and our friend Dave. We heard the dogs barking, but we didn't think much of it. Please pray that it doesn't happen again... and pray for our team as we pull our resources to get clothes to those who lost them! Please continue to pray for our safety!

*** Please pray for Theresa's car. She bought one and since we've been here its been broken. They have jacked the price up from 400 Rand to 1500 Rand (they found out we were Americans ;) ). We are waiting for a part, then a mechanic can fix it.. but until then we are stuck around Alabanza. Our hearts are in Swaziland and we know from all that God has done that we are supposed to be there.. so please pray taht the car will be "healed" and that we can go see our sweet friends across the country!

*** Please pray for our health. I have been very very ill for the last 2 days. My nights have been really rough and my body is having a hard time getting adjusted to this way of life. I missed a day of ministry in the slums today and it was so hard for me. Theresa went and said it was amazing! Please pray that I can go tomorrow!!!!!!!

*** Please pray for our friends from Zimbabwe. They are in the middle of starting their refugee papers and its a hassle. They NEED THESE!!




"The poor will eat and be satisfied; they who seek the Lord will praise him-- may your hearts live forever!" Psalm 22:26

"I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints." Psalm 52:9

"Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, "We have seen remarkable things today." Luke 5:26




ok.. i think im done. talk to me.. let me know how you are.


love you. Lee

Hey all..

hey all.. a friend of mine wrote this in an email to me last night.. its something i've been thinking about and his words echoed my thoughts almost exactly. He said it better than me so I thought i would share:



".., i'm doing well, but weary. not so much physically, although my job does wear me out. but i'm weary of this economy, this idea that everyone must earn their own way. the last year in school, i developed somewhat of a cynicism for the greed that drives myself and everyone else in america. what i'm realizing this summer is that, i think, the majority of people aren't fueled by greed--they're fueled by misunderstanding and pride. they've (we've?) bought into the american ideal that everyone has to earn their own way and they don't want help from anyone. they're not greedy. they're broken. most people that i work with, and most people that i know, are just trying to "get by." and they can't. because they were never meant to get by on their own steam.."







Thank you, Lord for being our "steam". Help us to remember that without You, we cannot get by. You are our source of strength and life. May we press in to You harder today than yesterday.







other than this, i don't have much to update. right now, im babysitting baby Vaeli.. he is a 10 month old baby that i met last summer at the makeshift orphanage in a township here called Temibisa. In September, one of my friends here adopted him. HE IS THE CUTEST LITTLE MUNCHKIN EVER! I'm trying to relieve his mommy for a while.. so we're hanging out in town at the internet cafe (picture me.. typing, bouncing him on my knee as he screams out words i do not know! oh i can't wait to be a mommy!!)
here is a picture of my struggle:

(I've taken lots of pictures.. so be ready for them next post!)

*also, thank you SO much to those who have emailed about supporting the staff getting to passion johannesburg... (if you missed this opportunity, its not too late: click here http://leegrayson.blogspot.com/2008/07/its-lee-again.html and scroll to the bottom)

3 of them are going now.. only 4 more need tickets! They are about 14 American dollars. so if you feel led to give, please contact me at lowrylg@gmail.com. I'm hoping to get videos of them up here so you can see their faces and hear their desire to go! Be on the lookout for that!

Thats all for now.. we're off to the hospital. More on that soon!

Love you guys more than you know! Lee

Finding home here

Hello Friends!

I hope you guys had a great holiday weekend surrounded by your friends and family!
4th of July is one of my favorites.. which is why this weekend was a bit more difficult than usual.
Being in Africa is unreal, and I can't tell you how blessed I feel to be here. I also can't tell you how clearly I heard the call to come back to Africa.. BUT.. If I told you that answering and resting in that call was EASY, I'd be lying. This weekend was HARD.

I miss my family and friends so much. It was hard to be away this weekend because I could all but smell the fun everyone was having. I wanted American barbeque, fireworks, and to hear the laughter of my sweet little cousins.

However, on my African 4th of July, serious homesickness began to creep in. I was craving a night out with my friends, a laugh with my mom, or even just a hug from my mom. None of which was tangible. I was having a ROUGH time to say the least.
In these homesick moments, I have had to lean hard into the Lord, knowing that He is the very essence of "family" to me. He is my Father, my provider, my sustainer, and my comfort and rest.

As I mentioned in my previous email, there are 2 Zimbabwean Refugees staying with us. Over the past couple of days, I 've learned more of their story. They are a brother and sister pair who were found in the marketplace and were chased out of their country because they were siding with the Opposition Political Party. They left behind a mother, and 7 other siblings under the age of 20. They faced a brutal execution, but got out just in time. They came by bus to Johannesburg and spent 2 weeks in the bus station. Almost a year ago, our friend Whopi (who also currently lives with us and who we do our hospital visits with) was preaching in Zimbabwe and left the congregation her phone number (which she always does after speaking). Well, Eti (the girl refugee) was in that congregation (a coincidence, NO WAY!) and took down the number and kept it safe. After being in the bus station for 2 weeks here in Joburg, she remembered she had the number Whopi gave out a year ago. She used her last Rand and called Whopi, who just happened to be an hour away. Whopi went and got them, and they are now staying with us.. it has been SUCH a blessing. Last night, I was eating with Eti and her brother, and she told me how she missed home and her family, and how she doesn't even know if they are safe (they also followed the opposition party). SHe told me that she worries because her father died 2 years ago and her ill mother has to care for all the remaining children. My stomach dropped. I felt like the biggest jerk ever. THis girl knows more pain due to distance than I have ever felt, and God-willing, more than I will EVER feel. SHE IS HOMESICK. She doesn't even know where her family is, and told me she will probably never know. She has no phone, no internet to stay connected...Yet, everyday, she makes me coffee before I wake, and she smiles when they ask her to clean the barn. She is, to me, the very defintion of STRENGTH and poise.

Like I said, this experience has me face-to-face with HUMILITY.

Lord, thank you for opening my eyes to something other than myself. Father, You are my Home and may I always be comfortable with just you. Bless Eti' and my family, may they know you as their peace and safety until we see them again.


Thank you all for your prayers, I FEEL THEM.
Keep it up, and let me know how I can do the same for you.

Also, if you haven't heard of the opportunity to give, check out the post below titled "It's Lee Again..".. it is at the very bottom. WE NEED YOUR HELP! Email or leave comments here if you are interested!


LOVE YOU GUYS!
LEE

PS: this sounds lousy coming after the subject of this post.. but.. I DO have a phone here in South Africa and I would love to hear from you! I receive FREE incoming calls. The time diff. is 8 hours..as in...when it's 8:00 am in the States, it is 3:00pm here. Skype is really cheap (23 cents a minute and you pay up front, no charges on your phone bill.. go to skype.com for more info) and unless I'm in the midst of ministry, I'll answer :) MY number (with Country code) is 27-078-325-6335.

It's LEE again..

***IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ MY UPDATE, PLEASE DO TAKE THE TIME TO READ THE LAST THING ON THIS POST.. THERE IS AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO GIVE!! IT'S WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I HAVE TO SAY!****


Hey guys.. Forgive me for my lack of posts.. its been an INSANE couple of days (to say the least). As mom updated, we got to Johannesburg safely (and with no sickness!). After praying for 10 hours straight, our host family was right there when we arrived.. HALLELUJAH... the Johannesburg airport gives me the creeps :).

We arrived to Alabanza (our home base in South Africa) on Wednesday, and got in bed pretty much right after we got there. We were POOPED! One of the guys from our team last year, Sean, also came through Wednesday night and we stayed up to see him and his team. It was so good to be with him for the night. We spent time praying for him, and him for us and it was just what we needed to kickstart this journey! WE LOVE YOU SEAN!

The last few days have just been relaxing.. not much going on. I slept for most of the day yesterday, I was SERIOUSLY JET LAGGED! I finally got a shower on Thursday (I know I know.. dont judge me! ... just be glad you couldn't smell me..) The water (and everything else) in Africa just has a mind of its own.. its quite humorous and very humbling.

Today we spent the morning with two of our friends, Vuyo and Wopi, who are social workers at the hospital outside of Rustenberg. They took us with them to spend time with some of the patients they work with. We actually spent a couple of days here last year, and it was a surreal feeling to be back. God did SO MUCH last year there, and it was unreal to think He has me there again this time. SO COOL! We spent most of the time between the pediatric ward and the psych ward and it was a fruitful time of ministry. The psych ward was great.. I think it was my favorite. The people in this ward will keep you smiling and laughing for days! One lady cussed out her grandson for a straight hour.. mind you, he wasn't even there :).

We have had a little bit of a hard time getting around because the car Theresa bought here has been in the shop and again, "africa time" is much different than what we know (I must say though, this is a blessing because its so nice .. and needed.. to slow down for a bit. So refreshing!) We are hoping to have her car back by Monday, and if so, our ministry can get more underway.

We had a few issues with our host family in Swaziland, and we were pretty certain we would not be able to go. The missionaries there basically took back their offer to open their home to us (because they already have a full house) and we were so broken. If you know any of my stories last year, they all involved my precious GoGo and I was so upset that I wouldn't be able to be with her again.. BUT.. by the grace of God, an AIM member just happened to be at Alabanza Thursday morning, heard our story, and started opening doors for our return there. Honestly, it was just nothign short of a miracle. He opened his home to us and we'll be in a gated community a few miles from the village where we stayed last year. We can go anytime, and right now we are just waiting to see when the Lord will have us go. We are thinking maybe next week, but we aren't sure.. I'll be sure to let you know!

I have so much more to update.. but I'm running out of minutes. We are headed to the store after this and we are going to try and buy a wireless card that allows us to get on the internet from wherever we want.. Please pray that its feasible and not too expensive.. we are missionaries after all!

For now, I just have some prayer requests.. will you PLEASE join me in praying these things?

* team unity. Theresa and I are tired and we need your prayers to keep us strong. We are learning to rely on each other and it's not always easy

* the staff at Alabanza. They are INCREDIBLE. They serve selflessly and have given us so much hospitality. However, they are worn out. There are currently about 55 people staying there, and only 7 of them to facilitate every need (showers, beds, meals, etc). THEY NEED REST! Please pray for them!

*Our ministry time. We are desperate to dig in here, and we want to make sure we are going and doing as we are told. We alreayd feel a certain tug to certain things, but want to go in the right direction. We will not allow our time here to be wasted!

*Our health.. we are tired and it makes us so lethargic. Pray for energy.

*There are 2 Zimbabwe refugees currently staying with us. If you know anything about South Africa, you know that they are going through a time of "xenophobia".. it is where they are afraid of Africans from countries other than there own. Any immigrants found here in South Africa (not Americans, mom, don't worry!) are terrorized and most of the time tortured to death. Yesterday, they were in town for errands and faced a roadblock by the South African police. They both escaped without arrest, and our friend Dini picked them up in the bush last night. They will start the "Safe Refugee" papers on Monday.. please pray for safety until then!!

*They are 2 young boys, Taelo and Abel, staying at Alabanza as well and they are such servants! Taelo's house was recently robbed and he lost everything. He has had on the same thing since we arrived.. and its FREEZING HERE! When I asked him what he was praying for, he told me last night "oh yes, I am praying that God would provide somenew sneakers for me, I know I'll get them soon".. HE is a man of faith and its been so cool to listen to his stories (I told him I'd video tape him and put him on here for you to see. you'd be so amazed!!) If you'd like to give Taelo new shoes, they are about 25 American dollars and you can email me at lowrylg@gmail.com and I'll let you know how!


**** Last one, I promise.. PLEASE READ!*****
*Have you ever heard of Passion Conferences? If not go to 268generation.com and read up. It is an incredible movement of \ and The Lord used it to radically change my life. Well, Passion is coming to JOHANNESBURG! Theresa and I have been planning to work the event for some time, and we were hoping to get our friends at Alabanza signed up. When we got here, they would not stop mentioning it. THEY ARE DYING TO GO. My friend, Mariet, told me last night that "I have always dreamed!" to go. However, they are missionaries who live off of support (They are the team at Alabanza that I mentioned earlier) and do not have the money to go. It is only 100 Rand per person.. that is only about 14$ per person! 14$ THAT IS IT! So, after spending some time praying, I wanted to bring this need to your attention. There are 7 of them that want to go and I think we can make it happen. If you would like to give money for a ticket or for 1/2 a ticket.. PLEASE email me at lowrylg@gmail.com and we'll make it happen. If you don't feel led to give.. PLEASE JOIN US IN PRAYING THAT GOD WILL PROVIDE THIS MONEY! It would be such a blessed gift tothis people who rarely get to attend an event like this!



ENough... now. what is going on with you? How is life? How was your fourth of July?? Fill me in!!

OK.. now that I've written a book, I'm out!
I'll post more (with pictures) later!! Love you guys..


Lee

AFRICA OR BUST!

(If this is your first time on this page, welcome! Stay a while, browse around, read old posts, etc. Friends and family, this is the best place to stay up to speed on what the Lord is doing while I'm in Africa. If all goes as planned, you'll be able to find updates here DAILY. I'm so thankful that you have invested in this trip. Your prayers and gracious giving are sending me out and I need you to stay connected for the rest of the journey! As you partner with me, I'd also love it if you'd leave comments or email me about what's going on with you. Have fun reading... )

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Well, y'all, it's that time! I can't believe its finally here. In my peripheral vision I see 2 huge suitcases (and by huge I mean they will get the dreaded 'heavy' tag tomorrow and have to go in that special section of the airplane.. i can't help it). They are all zipped up and only need a few more items before they are loaded up in the car. How exciting! How absolutely terrifying..

I've been thinking about this blog all day and how I would articulate all the things I really wanted to say... but of course, I have major writers block. Maybe its because my mind is on information overload, but I'm really at a loss for words (shocking, yes!).

This time last year, I was already in Africa with my team and I was giving little pieces of my heart to all the beautiful children and adults that I met. Some got more of my heart than others, and I'm sure you guys are worn out from hearing all the stories. I feel like I left so much of myself in Swaziland and Johannesburg last summer. I would try to write some poetic letter about how "now its time to go get it back".. but that wouldn't really be true.... I guess its really just time to go and give more. Actually, thats not true either. It's really just time to go and GET more. I didn't give half (ok, if we are getting technical, 'I' didn't give anything.. He did through me.. but I digress) of what I got. Those people left so much of themselves in me. They left forever footprints, marking their presence on my life. "They rocked my world", as my cousin says. I'm so ready to see them and let them do it again.

I was thinking in my car today, "Why in the world do I want to do this?" (I'm sure my mom will call me when she reads that and give me an answer to that question in an effort to keep me here.. too bad I'll already be on my way!) But seriously, why am I going? Me, Lord? REALLY? Do you know me? I'm a wreck. I'm lost and confused and definitely not worthy of such a calling. I don't have the strength to stand on my own two feet, much less run boldly into this radical place called AFRICA.

Through that mystery question "ME, LORD? REALLY? ARE YOU SURE? DO YOU REALLY KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH..??", I have found a spring of hope that gives me answers. The truth is, THIS IS THE BEAUTY OF THE CROSS. The Lord never chose the ones who had it all together. I know for some of you, this seems obvious and more like a Sunday School lesson, but for me, its a truth that needed reiteration for my feeble little brain.

I mean, look to the Word.....

Before becoming a great Christian evangelist spreading the word of Christ, the apostle Paul was called Saul and he traveled around trying to destroy Christianity (Acts 8). Abrahm lied telling one king that his beautiful wife Sarai was his sister, because he didn’t trust God to protect him. He was afraid they would kill him to take Sarai for themselves. (Genesis 12:10-20) Later Abrahm was Abraham and he told yet another king the same lie about his wife Sarah, again not trusting God to protect him. (Genesis 20) Peter was able to walk on water until he took his eyes off Jesus and looked at the wind and waves instead. (Matthew 14:25-31) Peter also denied Christ three times. Moses killed a man and you know how God used him.

There are so many more.. Jonah, Rahab.

I certainly don't have it all together.. but I'm finding that thats such a great place to be. In my brokenness and lifelessness, I get to surrender myself to the foot of the cross. When I'm empty, HE gets more room in my life. When my pieces fall apart, HE gets to put them back together. When I'm a loser and make bad decisions, He gets to be the superhero that rescues me.

In all of that, HE GETS ALL THE CREDIT. ALL THE GLORY GOES TO HIM.. JUST AS HE DESERVES.

I want these next 6 weeks to be NOTHING about me. NOTHING AT ALL.

{I want more of You, and less of me. Jesus move through me. Empty me out and push me aside so that you can stand front and center.. so you can SHINE!}

My prayer is that I'd give up any expectations or desires I have for this journey and surrender to His perfect plan. If I could do that, I can ONLY IMAGINE what's going to happen.

I'd love it if you'd pray too.

I want to write more, but I'm exhausted and have to be up SO early in the morning. I'm going to leave you with a prayer list. I hope you'll bookmark this post, print it out, put it on your fridge, whatever.. we NEED your prayers and CANNOT survive without them.

Would you Pray for:

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***I fly out at 7:30 tomorrow night. Please pray that we make it to Atlanta on time.. our family loves to be late.

****I'll be meeting Theresa in Chicago, with only 45 minutes between flights. I can't wait to dominate the O'hare Airport!

*** We'll fly to Frankfurt then onto Johannesburg. Please pray that those flights are safe and that we don't encounter any issues on our way there. You could also pray that 2 business class seats free up so that my little surgery wound can have more room for 18+ hours in the air... that would be AMAZING.

****PLEASE PLEASE PRAY that our hosts pick us up on time in Johannesburg. This airport is the most dangerous in the world (sorry mom) and we don't want to have to stick around any longer than we have to :)

****Pray for the staff that will host us for the next few days. We have some logistics to work out when we get there.. I'll fill in with more details later.

*****Pray for Theresa and I's families. Theresa is going to be gone for a YEAR, so tommorrow will be a hard day for her.

****Pray for our bodies. The next few days are gonna be crazy and my body will probably hate me.

****Pray that our luggage makes it. Jo'Burg is FAMOUS for "losing" luggage. AH! THAT WOULD BE A NIGHTMARE!

****Pray for the Creel's and the McCallister's as they endure a long day of waiting for baby Emma to arrive!

****Protection

****Ministry Opportunities

****You can also pray that my transcripts get transfered by 10 am tomorrow.. if not, there will be a whole new list of prayer requests :)

****Pray against any complications on our flights, in customs..

****pray for our hearts and minds, and that we would be unified as a team. Pray also that we'd be wise and would lean on Him when we're tired or frustrated (airports can bring out the worst in people!

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Ok, I think I've about covered it.

HOW CAN I PRAY FOR YOU???

I'll write more tomorrow from the airport (hopefully).. Keep looking out.

I LOVE YOU GUYS AND IM SO EXCITED FOR US TO TAKE THIS JOURNEY TOGETHER. Here we go......

LeeGrayson