2009.. WHAT?!

Happy New Year, blog world.. It feels like yesterday that I was wholeheartedly convinced that 2000 would be the end of time, wiping me clear off the planet! 

I was 14 and dramatic, ok?

I always heard that however you ring in your new year or spend the first day of the new year will pattern how the rest of that year will turn out. If so, this is going to be the laziest year of my life!

I ate some yummy grits, watched the Rose Parade, sent a few emails, and didn't even dare take off my comfy pajamas until near 2 o clock. Tonight, mom and I watched 2 movies we rented from the movie vending machine (you have to check this out) for 1$ .. ONE WHOLE DOLLAR (apparently cheap is the theme of my year.. definitely satisfied with that). I mean, can we say FABULOUS? 

My 2009 is off to a great start and I pray that yours is the same. I was reading a friend of mine's blog and I scrolled down to find this story. It is amazingly powerful and mimic's a theme that the Lord has been burning into me since my first trip to Africa in 2007: "Believe the Lord for who He says He is". That is scribbled into every notepad and pinned on so many surfaces around me. Maybe you're already there, or maybe you've got no clue.. either way, this story serves as an incredible reminder of our great Savior and His relentless faithfulness . Read it here. (Thanks Kristin).

Also, if you're doing the One Year Study, or want to, the next two days look like this: 

Today's (JAN 1) Reading Schedule:

* Genesis 1 and 2, Psalm 1, AND Matthew 1 and 2

Tomorrow's (Jan 2) Reading Schedule:

* Genesis 3 and 4, Psalm 2, AND Matthew 3 and 4

how did you ring in the new year? 

I've got the desire..

.. for adventure.

maybe it's the new year and all the resolutions and forecasting we do.. , or maybe it's the extra cash flowing as a result of Christmas generosity... but I am YEARNING (dramatic? yes) to do something adventurous. Let me clarify, by adventurous I do not mean:

1) mountain biking 

2) bungee jumping

3) sky diving

4) going to a Monster Truck Show

5) ice picking 

My version of adventurous includes, but is not limited to:

1) moving to new york city 

2) quitting school (remember when we talked about this over Mellow Mushroom 2 years ago, rebekah?)

3) getting another tattoo

4) exploring Europe for 5-6 months

5) all of the above

It's funny.. because... i'm actually quite serious.

Do you ever sit back and wonder if you are doing what you were made for? I've been doing that for over a year (Danielle, you can pull up your facebook messages for a year+ as evidence of this, huh? and Holli? the porch talks?)...  A WHOLE YEAR. There are so many reasons.. but the main reason for this confusion is that I have an unreasonable and unhealthy need to live my life the way that the world thinks I should (or the way I think the world thinks I should live). I'm not placing blame.. I'm just honestly afraid of messing up. 

The new year is sure to bring about more honest and transparent blogs.. and maybe you'll be able to see why I question the current state of my life. But I really feel the need to stretch my legs and walk boldly into something totally uncomfortable. To do something completely irrational, unreasonable, and seemingly ridiculous.. yet totally necessary and liberating.

Lord, you have complete authority on every move I make. I'm begging- give me vision.. BE my vision.

Mistaken Identity

I'm sure you've heard the story (from 2006) about the 6 girls from Taylor University who were in a tragic accident. I'm not up to speed on all of the details, but I think that 5 were killed, and one lived.  Two of the families made headlines everywhere as they grieved their daughters lives. However, because of the alterations caused by the accident, the girls were hardly noticeable. The girl who was living was actually not who everyone thought she was. One set of parent's grieved the death of their daughter and she wasn't even dead. Then, the other hopeful parents clung to the bedside of what they thought was their own precious daughter. Five weeks into the tragedy, after one family had buried what they thought was their daughter (oh.my.WORD.), the two families figured out that something was not right... they were facing a case of mistaken identity. 

CAN YOU IMAGINE? 

Matt Lauer has done several interviews with these families, and did a catch up tonight on Dateline. It was absolutely fascinating. I have never seen the faith that they possess played out in reality. They know Jesus in a real way.. because they experienced what it was like for Jesus to be the only thing they had. We've gotta live that truth day by day, minute by minute.. tragedy or no tragedy. They really really get it. It was unreal to watch.. you should check it out.

Click HERE to do that.

If you'd rather just read up on it, click HERE or HERE

WOW.

Schmolotics..

ok, look. I have made this personal commitment to avoid blogging about politics. One reason? I don't know enough. Yes, my grandfather is in the House, my uncles hold offices in our city, and my next-door-neighbor is the mayor. I was birthed into a very political environment and by nature, it has been a constant part of my life. However, sometimes it's harder to be in the thick of it all and maintain a brain of your own.. I, as a stubborn, independent adult, need to formulate my own ideas and my own values... and.. I haven't felt it all out yet.

Sure, I have opinions, things I believe in, things I am passionate about... some of you know this, and others of you have read about the very beat of my heart right here on this website.
But honestly, do you really care who i vote for?

To avoid getting heated or getting caught up in doing the very thing that bothers me , I will just say this- the last thing we need is for more people to make disrespectful comments that cause division and discord. I am shocked at how people have carried themselves during this campaign- most specifically: those within this Body of Christ that I call home. I pray no condemnation is translated in this: but.. we as believers have not risen up and stood out, rather we have camouflaged our faith and stooped low to hurt the very ones we are called to love. You know what I'm talking about, you've gotten the emails too. I pray we start being graceful and full of joy, a people that don't base life on emotion or the ideals of man. Me included.

President Obama (I know you're reading this.. I know you're not busy at all right now), I vow to respect you as a leader and as my fellow man, while never letting my support for you surpass the allegiance I have in following my Lord.

THERE. soapbox done. (sorry).

Several things about tonight:
1- I love Ann Curry
2- the CNN election graphics were out of control. how do they do that?
3- despite any of our opinions, Barack Obama is a DAMN GOOD SPEAKER.
4- why is WILL.I.AM getting interviewed about the election results on MSNBC?
5- these nights last WAY too long. we can do all those funky histograms, pie graphs, and touch screens but it takes 8 hours to get the votes tallied. Technology?
6- My voting poll did NOT have a booth with a cute curtain. We sat at tables with cardboard squares for privacy. SO DISAPPOINTED.
7- Todd Palin has rythym. did anyone else see him last night? the man can DANCE!
8- I have been laughing hysterically at some of the facebook statuses. Did anyone feel like people were fighting with each other by way of their status? I would watch as someone posted something and then see another friend had updated their status in response to whatever was said by the other. I was hitting refresh every second in an effort to avoid missing one minute of Facebook: Jerry Springer style. While some were quite distasteful, some were genius and so entertaining. My favorites:

"Forrest is gonna go spend all his money and hop on the welllfare train!"
"Nathan Farrow is requesting that all the people who are leaving the country please leave your stuff at my house so I can sell it on ebay"
"Jonathan Bomar wishes he was black, I feel so left out"
"Hayley Jones thinks some people need to take a Prozac and step back from the ledge"
"Kel Wilpitz thinks Texas should secede and George W. can be our president! http://www.texassecede.com/." (God Bless Texas.. those crazy people)
"Lauren Nix thinks there needs to be a separation of facebook and state."


what a day.

tomorrow? Barack Obama makes his 2 month and 15 day journey to the White House and becomes the 44th president of the United States of America.
tomorrow? God remains God.
amen and amen and AMEN.

Plan B- no such thing

ive started and stopped and restarted this little post around 85 times. explaining the situation, without making it a nine page essay is proving to be difficult. I'm not good at shortening stories, I like adding to them better. But here is my 86th attempt:

I had a plan. My plan was that I would finish all my finals, enjoy the last little bit of time with friends, and pack up and head home for 2 weeks of rest and relaxation. Then, I'd be back in Auburn to start school on the 22nd of May, I'd work, and I'd raise support and count down the days until I was back in Africa.

It wouldn't be a story if it didn't have a twist, right? Well, my twist was that I was really sick. I spent nearly a week in and out of doctor's offices. On top of it all, I was pretty certain I had a broken tailbone. Finally, after spending the first week of my supposed "rest and relaxation", in cold, sterile doctors offices we finally realized that there was more going on than we thought. At the end of that week, a doctor finally laid some claims as to what had been going on, and I was diagnosed with Pilonidal Sinus Disease. This was causing my sickness and the 'broken tailbone', was actually a "rapidly enlarging pilonidal cyst" that had to be removed immediately. So, into surgery I went. My cyst was much larger and much more infected than they anticipated, and so they prepared us for what sounded like a pretty messy time of recovery.

Usually, people are fully recovered after 12 weeks. Most don't walk until beginning of week 3, sit or drive until a month. Unfortunately, because my cyst was so out of control, they couldn't close up my wound and they sent me home with an open incision that goes from my tailbone to my lower back.

So, for me, every decision or idea I had prior to May 12th has been in question. It's been a rollercoaster, but its really been ok. I'm apparently super woman when it comes to healing, and my home nurses and my doctor can't believe the rate a which I'm progressing. My 4 inch long, 2 inch deep incision is closing up and I've been in no pain. NO PAIN! Praise God. This surgery is known as being pretty ugly, and to me, it's been virtually painless. That blows my mind. They prepared us for the worst, but as usual, God showed up and God showed off. He's unreal.

I guess it's not really the medical stuff that had me worried or confused. It's incredible how peaceful that whole side of the issue has been. I know its real, I know I have to deal with it from here on out, and I'm ok. Im really ok. (I can hear those of you that know me saying "something is wrong with her!"). Again, I'm in no pain. I'm walking. Im driving. I'm living life normally.

The hard part for me has just been understanding God's purpose in all of this. None of this was in MY plan. Ok, so I did ask for rest, and I have been laid up for like 5 weeks, but thats not really the rest I was hoping for! The doctor's didnt clear me for school and I didn't get to share those last precious weeks with my roommates who will move out at the end of this month. I didn't get to come home and tan and hang out with my friends. I didn't get to excitedly prepare for Africa.
In helping me get some clarity, friends and family have said "Don't even worry! This is just Plan B.. plan A didn't work out, so now we'll move on to the next!" I kinda went on with that mantra without looking back. I had accepted Plan B. Plan B was resting, healing, and maybe (just maybe) getting to go to Africa.I was really at peace with whatever came out of this new plan. If I was to go to Africa, I would be thrilled! If not, I'd press on knowing that God had me here for a reason. Again, I was really ok.

As you probably know by now, I finally got the doctors blessing to go to Africa, and I'll be there as planned. But I never knew it'd look this way or take shape like it has. Last week, as I was assessing my confusion and frustration with all of this with the Lord, a wave of peace came over me and I got it (rather, he opened my eyes to FINALLY see it). This wasn't Plan B. Plan B wasn't foregoing school, or missing my friends, or being bored to tears in my house. That was my idea of Plan B. But to Him, it was all part of Plan A. He knew all of this, and it was all part of his original, and only, plan for me. He never started over, and His Plan A never failed. IT NEVER WILL. Thats a promise I was glad to relearn.

I am humbled by the thought that He chooses to use me at all.. whether its in Swaziland or in Prattville. I don't care. I just want to be used. My real hearts desire is to quit all my Plans, A-Z and surrender and submit to the same plan He mapped out for me before time. He is a FAITHFUL FATHER.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but it is the LORD that determines his steps" proverbs 16:9

thanks for being a part of all this. I cherish these friendships and I know for a second I don't deserve it.
to say im humbled is such an understatement.
Lee