I've got the desire..

.. for adventure.

maybe it's the new year and all the resolutions and forecasting we do.. , or maybe it's the extra cash flowing as a result of Christmas generosity... but I am YEARNING (dramatic? yes) to do something adventurous. Let me clarify, by adventurous I do not mean:

1) mountain biking 

2) bungee jumping

3) sky diving

4) going to a Monster Truck Show

5) ice picking 

My version of adventurous includes, but is not limited to:

1) moving to new york city 

2) quitting school (remember when we talked about this over Mellow Mushroom 2 years ago, rebekah?)

3) getting another tattoo

4) exploring Europe for 5-6 months

5) all of the above

It's funny.. because... i'm actually quite serious.

Do you ever sit back and wonder if you are doing what you were made for? I've been doing that for over a year (Danielle, you can pull up your facebook messages for a year+ as evidence of this, huh? and Holli? the porch talks?)...  A WHOLE YEAR. There are so many reasons.. but the main reason for this confusion is that I have an unreasonable and unhealthy need to live my life the way that the world thinks I should (or the way I think the world thinks I should live). I'm not placing blame.. I'm just honestly afraid of messing up. 

The new year is sure to bring about more honest and transparent blogs.. and maybe you'll be able to see why I question the current state of my life. But I really feel the need to stretch my legs and walk boldly into something totally uncomfortable. To do something completely irrational, unreasonable, and seemingly ridiculous.. yet totally necessary and liberating.

Lord, you have complete authority on every move I make. I'm begging- give me vision.. BE my vision.

ahhhhhh!

two posts in one day? i know, RARE. but....i can finally let out a big secret.. MY BEST FRIEND IS ENGAGED.



these two crazies (Jamie and Grayson) are getting marrieeeeeeeeeed. (they don't look like this all the time.. i promise)
Jamie Hoffman.. sounds perfect :)

i love my jamie-boo. besides being an incredible, trustworthy, encouraging friend.. she's badass at art and can make you laugh harder than you ever have before.


(Because of my computer crash, i can't find any recent pictures of them or of us.. but the high school pic will have to do.)

Pray for them as they start this new step in life.
Pray for me, as wedding season is FAST approaching and my sanity may be in question!







AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. im so excited.. for all of my sweet friends!

so, how am i celebrating? well.. im off to the gym, then coming home and getting on match.com. nothing says "congratulations!" like a little personal desperation. (kidding, of course)

...back here baby..

you forgot about BBMAK didn't you? SHAME! not me...

.. i will stand up for you, no matter what you're going through

im still on your side

any time day or night, dont care if its wrong or right.. im still on your side..

or

..until your back here baby,

miss you, want you, need you so,...

come back here baby YEAAA..

so i know what you're probably thinking... "how old is she, really?" well. im 20. so that answers that. and i have NO shame.. im a boy band fan. you probably are too, just admit it. so as i sit here and sing along to my boys (bbmak, backstreet, nsync, 98 degrees, lfo.. you know..), im reminiscing about the old times. i miss them A LOT. the roller rink, ice-skating. spend the night parties, swimming parties, cookouts, push-pops, treehouses..man. anyone want to relive the good old days with me? oh innocence.. life was so easy back then.

yep. thats little lee. sometimes i wish i was that little me again. Ya know when you hear people share about a "child-like faith".. thats what I want. I want to go back to the time when i didn't fear, because I didn't know how... when I was honest because I had nothing to lose.. when staying in with mom and dad was cool just because no one did anything else. a time when i didn't care that i had mud and markers on my face and gum in my hair. when there was no such thing as "being cool". when walking barefoot was acceptable. Innocence is such a beautiful thing. There is such purity and holiness that comes with innocence. There is opportunity for growth in innocence, no pride that shakes you. There is respect and reverence that comes out naturally, simply because that is what we were made for. I want to believe in Jesus, and LIVE in Jesus like that again.